Oh Universe

Until it’s path is over run with obstacles
Too great for it to overcome,
A flame will burn everything in its path
If only to exist a while longer;
As does the Universe burn
The boundaries of nonexistence,
Until nonexistence finds its way in
And slowly consumes the fire,
The expanding fire
From within and from without.

If I could witness the birth of creation,
And feel the emptiness from whence it came,
If I could behold all that exists,
And all that has existed,
If I could know all that can be known,
Hear, see, taste, smell, and feel
All that has ever been,
If I could look into the mind of your God
And ask the question, Why?

Would it be enough?
Would it be enough to end my pain?

If I could feel all the love
That has ever been experienced,
All the pain that has ever been endured,
If I could bring happiness
To every tortured soul,
Sorrow and enlightenment
To all who have oppressed,
Would it be enough?

If I could know the glory of Heaven
And the agony of Hell,
If I could know the minds and the hearts
Of every living creature
That has ever existed,
Or know the answers to
Why? How? And for What Purpose?

Would it be enough?
Would it be enough to end my pain?

Would it be enough to fill my heart?
And drive out the emptiness,
The loneliness, the nonexistence,
Which consumes my fire, my will,
My reason to live.

Take me,
Take me before the beginning of time,
To where emptiness was all and all was not,
To when there was no existence
No Gods, no Demons, no Life, no Death,
Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Take me,
So that I may suffer that eternal loneliness
An eternal loneliness devoid of feelings,
Devoid of pain, devoid of all that we are.
Give me that emptiness,
So that I may feel the need,
That overwhelming need to feel,
To feel the pain, to feel the loneliness,
To feel the will,
That overwhelming will to exist.

Oh Universe,
Is it not enough that we exist?
Or is to exist the only reason?
To be, or not to be
Has always been the question.
And I cannot be if I cannot live,
And I cannot live, if I cannot love,
For love is my will,
And my will is my sanity,
Which is my soul,
Which is my mind,
Which is my heart,
And my heart has given up hope,
And my mind is fading away,
And its hard, it’s hard to hold on,
To the fire, my will, my reason to live.
I must resist.
I must hold on.
I must exist.
To be, to love, to be loved.


David Yanez
December 1998

Copyright 2009 David Yanez. All Rights Reserved.